Well…..I am stunned, shocked, sad, angry, numb……I cannot comprehend this!!!! One very very
silly lady, in my opinion. I cannot imagine how you must have felt reading the letter …..and coping
since. You have a good woman now! Take care of each other xxx
Next time i see you, i think you get a hug dated from 28th March 2012.
David, i cannot understand how a mother could do this. I suggest you continue to live your life as you wish, as she will need you sometime and she will realise what she is missing.
Can i also ask one question, does she still see your sister and keep in contact with her. As i think i remember she left the witnesses as well
Hi diane, yeah they both see her but she never got baptised so the restrictions regarding contact do not apply to her.
Yes, I am in the same situation. My parents can remain in contact with my brothers that have left, even though one of them is a convicted felon. I am shunned for a decision I made at 14 years old to make them (my parents, not god) proud.
Nothing to be said really. Faith is one thing, but it should never to the exclusion of all around. Particularly famlly! I don’t know you Dave, but you have my sympathy. Don’t let it screw you up.
Thanks dude, despite what some may think I am ok with it all, I understand why it has happened as far as the reasoning goes, it is that little thing of what the reasoning is based on that gets me, if it was sound, we would all do it, but the fact that only a minority of people get it is beyond me and goes to illustrate the fallibility of the faith. I’d quite like it to screw me up, and make me mad as I would like to know what that feels like 🙂
David, I was raised JW as well. My heart goes out to you in a way that only an x j-dub can. It’s been 14 years since I left. My parents have put me through an emotional roller coaster. We love you but our relationship with Jehovah always comes first…blah blah blah Just remember it’s not your fault. It’s Charles T Russels fault..and our parents for believing that shit! stay strong and never look back!
Thank you for your comment, It certainly is a roller-coaster… CT Russels money making schemes of yesteryear have caused alot of heartache.
Let’s hope that common sense prevails one day Dave. Religion has screwed up a lot of people, but it brings it home all the more, just how screwed up it can be when it involves a friend. Stay strong mate, we may not be family, but we are there for you.
I’m not sure what too say. Its heartbreaking Dave. I can in no way comprehend how difficult it must have been to share this blog and you’re innermost feelings. I’m glad you have the support of Katie and her wonderful family to help you with you’re loss. I’m glad you wrote this blog and hope it helps in some way x
Good people will do good things, bad people will do bad things.
To make a good person do bad things requires religion.
You should quote the source of this comment. It’s only paper to do so.
Proper* to do so. Thanks.
It paraphrases a slightly more verbose quote by Steven Weinberg.
As i’ve already said i think this was an incredibly brave thing to do. I read this and find myself feeling pity for your mother. As much as she is implying you are the one who is lost having left the “fellowship” i feel the exact opposite is the truth. You have found yourself and unfortunately your mother is lost in years of having the witness ideals drummed into her consciousness, so much so they are now an integral part of her mentality. Although i doubt it will happen (after reading this blog) but I really hope she will re-think this decision for her sake more than yours.
With much admiration and respect.
Thanks dan, real glad you have enjoyed reading, maybe one day dan, you never know, lots of people come to their senses and get out of it. Who knows maybe they are right and God is a crazy crazy guy, either way i am glad i am where i’m at in life.
As a Father & someone brought up in a religious household (forced on myself & my brother at an early age) and having read the entire blog, i still find it difficult that a Mother can do that to a child.
Religion is full of contradictions & one of the main reasons why i am not religious in the slightest. & also the reason why neither myself nor Lesley wanted to get married in a church. Our kids will grow up with choices. whichever path they take, religious or not, we will never shun them.
As far as the blog goes, its been a great read. Very informative. Its just a shame it ends as it does. I hope writing it has gone some way in helping you get your head round it all.
Cheers dave, its been good for me, Glad you enjoyed it mate
Paradise on Earth or Wolfbear? I know which one I’d go for. I guess sometimes people just make the wrong choices…
Tough break, feel for you. Keep the (un) faith
That’s got to be the single most depressing letter I’ve seen for quite some time. Incredible how religion can twist and warp such a fundamental connection between parent and child.
Been a great read Dave. Thank you so much for sharing and I agree its a brave act to bare what must have been a very emotional matter. Much love brother!
This all makes my lack of understanding and distaste for religion much more real.
Very sad. Thanks for a great blog though Dave. I now understand at least a little bit about ‘the faith’. Also just finished Dawkins’ ‘The Greatest Show on Earth’ which I would’ve said is a must read for all JWs but by the sounds of it they would regard it as the words of an apostate and not read it.
Got it in one my friend
You already know what I think matey. However while I’m here I thought I’d just say that’s a good use of a glazing packer right there fella hehehe
Although I was the one to slam the door and cut off communication with my viper of a Witness mother, my heart goes out to you. It’s to their shame that the Witnesses allow religion to do this to family.
My name is Teeny and I run JWB (Jehovah’s Witness Blog). Can I use the letter in one of my upcoming articles?
Yeah, take what you need, (as long as you dont mind sticking a link to my blog on there somewhere that would be greatly appreciated) Cheers dude
Of course mate. If possible, can you pop me an email with some back story? What were you disfellowshipped for? How long were you as Jehovah’s Witness and all that jazz…
Jaymes Payten (a.k.a. Teeny Pyjamas)
Dave, I too would like to post this on jwfacts.com. Sadly, I have read many similar emails from parents, and posted some on my site, but to have a hand written letter makes it all the more authentic and heartfelt. – Paul
Paul, feel free my friend
I posted the article on JWB this morning. Here it is –
Let me know what you make of it. We should also do some joint articles.
Just read it, superb mate, spot on, I am a Newcastle fan 😉 Good stuff mate, I would be delighted to do some writing with you. let me know when you fancy doing something.. Stay in touch dude
Greetings from Canada! I just wanted to send you a hug, and tell you it’s time to get angry! I know that ‘dead’ feeling inside. Let yourself feel, then you can move on.
I really have moved on from this, thanks for your concern though. I have never been one to get angsty about this type of thing, it is what it is and now I move on… many thanks for reading
Man, that was so dictated by the WT! She said so many times that no one made her do it that it makes me think that she was compelled by others to do it. Was it her elders or the local gossip squad?
My mom could have written the same letter. My heart goes out to you, friend.
I think that the comment of “it is a fearsome thing to fall into the hands of the one true god” is perhaps the title of the previous convention she attended a week or so before i received the letter… you know it’s very witness-ey isnt it.
I read the letter first and then a bunch of your lead ups to it. You were on their hit list before your wife came along-you were in a band AND you went to college. . . you were just asking for trouble! You obviously were never following the party line and they knew they weren’t reeling you back in. khallas! I’m sorry for your mom-she’s obviously had her brain washed, rinsed and dried well, ironed, folded and packeged neatly in the JW box. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Life is short, so smile every day at your beautiful wife and be happy for the ordinary, imperfect, earthly joys that you share with the woman smiling back at you. They are sweeter than a perfect paradise in your dreams.
Ha, I always knew that boy was trouble!! Life is good 😉
So sorry for you. I came across this on jwnet and posted it to my facebook page. I’m having shunning issues in my family, too. Your mom says no one tells her what to do. However, she doesn’t realize that with all their articles about shunning their df’d relatives, whether she realizes it or not, they have told her how to think!
Thanks for your comment and for reading, you are absolutely on the money. people keep using the term brainwashing, but it is far more subtle than that. many thanks cathy
If you dont mind, where do you host your web site? I am searching for a very good web host and your webpage appears to be fast and up almost all the time
WordPress.com its free to use, although you can pay to upgrade, you can also pay fro your own domain name for about 18 dollars… they have tons of readymade formats and its real simple to use…. now i just got to hope they pay me for this glowing endorsement…hahaha 😉
Wow. I recently received a very similar email from my mother.
To sum it up : “Your father has given me clear and specific instruction to tell you that staying here in the Fall is no longer an option. We will protect our spiritual heritage and defend our position until such a time that you again “call on the Name of Jehovah”(Acts 2:21) Communication from you is no longer welcome.”
It’s sad that parents are willing to choose an imaginary friend over their own children. I feel your pain and appreciate you sharing your story.
Stay strong, and enjoy your freedom from ignorance and superstition.
“Stay strong, and enjoy your freedom from ignorance and superstition.”
(Also a recipient of such a letter)
lol “I want you to know that my love will always be there for you.”…”I must terminate this relationship.”
What a nutbag.
From a guy who lost his mom to this nut house religion, I raise my glass brother. Here’s the freedom no matter the cost… Doug
Freedom it is!! Cheers dude, its 7am here so i’ll toast to that after work 😉
I’ll never cease to be stunned when I read this sort of thing. It’s the most screwed up doctrine and policy. Everyone gets hurt, no one wins, and I honestly believe your mom when she said it’s the hardest thing she has ever done. How does someone sacrifice this natural and loving bond in favor of an idea–one that reeks of cult thinking? How can people choose a make-believe life over one that is real?
That said, you are handling this well. Don’t ever let them say that you made your decision and this is your choice. They own their pain, they make this decision, they have chosen to leave you. Pain? Let them own it.
to once a witness, I remember not so long ago my father blaming me for my mother having to take anti-depressants, “you have done this to your mother” I told him that it was crazy to put that on me, would he have had me continue lying? Religion is a strange and complicated beast if you let it be.
Clearly she didn’t write this on her own and she had someone controling her. I think that’s pretty clear from this letter.
My mother was also a Jehova’s Witness, she was excommunicated and I remember watching her own sisters ignore her while they would cross paths. Eventually they also were excommunicated and were “allowed” to speak to my mom again. It’s different when it’s your own mother though. I couldn’t imagine. Glad to see you’re making the best of it though.
Indoctrination is a powerful too, unfortunately, it has created situations like this.
When the veils comes crashing down around her and she is left dazed and confused by the truth, she will need love and compassion as the confusion will be incredibly overwhelming. A hug from an understanding son will help heal the wounds and undo the layers of deception…
It’s just a phase….
Maybe Gary, I guess we can only hope that will happen, but this dillusion they are under will be such a tough cookie to crack
I’m one of thousands who saw this on Reddit and thought I’d audaciously speak on their behalf to offer you support. Growing up, my mother was a Jehovah’s Witness and my journey to Atheism (by way of reading all the sacred texts I could get my hands on) caused a large rift in my relationship to my mom. Fortunately, my mom saw the contradiction, and particularly the misogyny espoused by that denomination and left it for a more universalist denomination which allowed her to believe and love her heathen child at the same time. You seem to have made peace with this action, so I simply wish you continued peace.
Thanks lucas you big heathen you! 😉
Wow, dude. Sorry your mum’s an idiot.
David, man… This broke my heart. I am so sorry. I cried reading this thinking of how your other loves you but was.in turmoil over the differences you two share. So very heartbreaking,to see.which road she.chose to travel down. All the best, David
Thank you for reading, I cant believe how many are actually reading, I am glad to have touched you, many thanks
I’ve never told my mother and my family I’m an atheist… but I do fear the outcome. I will probably take this to my grave.
My jw mother has shunned me for 24 years. It stung at first, but the longer I was away from her, the more I realized what a damaged person she is due to cult indoctrination. And being around people like that isn’t good for anyone. The blood issue alone opens up so many possibilities with poor outcomes if an ex-jw stays in close association with a practicing jw relative.
I’m glad to see that you’re moving on with your life. That’s the best thing you can do for yourself. I hope many other ex and exiting jws read your blog and see that there really is life outside the Watch Tower.
It certainly is a daunting thing leaving the faith, but despite what they tell you, Satan is not lurking around every corner, and the human race on the whole is full of amazing people, thanks for reading jamie
Dave, it kills me to read this, because I know the hurt you feel.
I was a born-in JW and finally stopped attending meetings at age 36; my sister and mom have shunned me since 2006. My mother’s kidneys started failing a few months ago, and combined with her late stage emphysema, she doesn’t have long to live. Since I now live in another country, my only source of updates on my mom’s condition is through my sister, who only recently decided to reply to me. Of course, she only does so out of duty as Watchtower-mandated “necessary communication”; her messages are cold and businesslike without an ounce of love or family feeling.
I hope one day her eyes and heart will be opened. Until then, here’s a virtual hug of support.
Keep enjoying your freedom from that cult!
Thanks for that comment, that is one of the saddest things I have read, I feel for you, it makes my situation seem so small in comparison… That is damn cold! What kind of a loving God would decree that this was a suitable punishment for you no longer following him… No one in the bible was made to take such a big sacrifice (except jebus) yet you and your family are effectively being made to take the ultimate sacrifice, all in the name of keeping the congregation clean!! You sir are an inspiration… thank you of your love
It’s really interesting for me to get your perspective, as I grew up in a noncomittally nonreligious household. My grandma liked taking us to church when we were younger, but it was a pretty bland, decent Episcopal church, and I went for my Grandma’s sake. To think my own flesh and blood would “terminate our relationship” over anything that wasn’t attempted murder of one another or something like that is very foreign to me. Scary that you and others did, are, or will be going through this. Thanks for sharing it with strangers. It’s fascinating. See ya, -brandon
I love you and I’m here if you ever need me. Anytime, anywhere, just call. Enjoy your life but know that I am always here for you.
The guilt will crush her.
I have thought about a lie, but the guilt is probably hurting her and has been from the moment she dropped that letter in the post box
WoW. My dad did me the same way. Except that he didn’t do it with a letter. He just walked away and has nothing to do with me. But Hey, I am now set free to serve God through His Son Jesus Christ. And my Heavenly Father will never turn His back and walk away. I was raised in it from birth. 10 years ago I prayed and asked God that if it was really a Cult to take my fear away of questioning what they teach and lead me out. 10 years now a blood bought Son of the Most High God. For every family member the devil has stolen, 10 have taken their place. Thanks for sharing.
Glad to hear you have found faith mate, whilst its not for me, I fully respect those who follow the bible correctly… Thank you for commenting
My mother left me for my step-father. I always felt sorry for my self but at least she left me for something that is real. This is a lot worse, I’m sorry for your troubles, man. I hope things work out for you.
sounds like mom has no idea what love is.
So sorry. I hope this is not the end of it. Her eyes may be opened one day, or she may ‘weaken’ again. This religion that causes a mother to write such a thing to her child is not about love.
I feel that if they’re read & pondered daily – their ideals will soon become evident in our lives – and we’ll internalize them.
The cult you were part of is very evil. Years ago I read a study of sexual offenders that found that JW’s were seven times more likely to molest their own, or other people’s, children as an average American. When they come to my front door I quote that statistic! Do not look back.
My parents were less than eager to associate with me when I told them I was done with that whole can of worms. It lasted for about six years. They wouldn’t come into my house or do anything social. Just meals at restaurants on occasion. Then I got a call from my mom crying one day and she said she was sorry and they did a bunch of research and they were basically done with “the truth” as well. She still believes in god etc. but just no longer a JW. I personally am an athiest and I think I almost got them looking into science so there is always hope. My mom was deep in there as well. Pioneer, quick builds, always writing letters to bethel etc. “Studying” all the time and she finally broke the brainwash. Best thing to do, just love the shit out of them. Try not to get angry and defiant. That just fuels their brainwashing that the “world” will make you evil and hateful.
An elder once said to me that dont get mad and kill them (figuratively of course) rather kill them with love… I guess it applies both ways… cheers for reading
i still find it unbelivable what people do and say for the sake of there religion. just think how many wars have been fought and how many millions have died in the name of god. its staggering. but still people have an Unrelenting faith in god.
always liked this quote from stephen hawking :-
“I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.”
Love the Hawking quote
I have just read through your entire blog today. I’ve found it incredibly interesting and inspiring. I commend you on your inner strength, I can’t imagine how difficult all of this must have been. Well done and much respect.
Thanks, I am glad that it has had that effect on you, thats really nice to hear
It would be convenient if, say, she brought to your attention where in the Bible (Testament, book, chapter, and verse) she got this from, and particularly which version. This is saddening. And I would say part of the problem is precisely that she DIDN’T consult anybody on the issue. For a people who believe in the influence and suggestion of demons, Some of us Christians sure don’t do a lot of checking up with anybody else to ensure that what they’re doing isn’t possibly from the wrong side or just plain psychologically maligned.
Who the hell is this Jehova character I keep reading about, where does it live 🙂 ? …… All the best Dave, great blog, hope to see you both soon x
Ha ha ottmeister, where have you been hiding? i aint seen you for a while, come to the creek on sat night we have a gig!!
Thank you for sharing mate, it’s been a real journey of a read. How you’ve come out of all this in tact is proof of you’re genuine character. Proud to call you a friend.
Who is this, i recognise the email… and i love happy healthy harold, his old trailer is up behind target tools in douglas, its a shame to see it wasting away that way
Dear David… She’s the one who’s missing out. Sad! Enjoy your life, love and be happy. I wish you all the best! Big hugs from Panama- América Latina.
Wow panama… awesome big hugs from the tiny little isle of man
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am an atheist in the bible belt and I’ve never told my parents, though I suspect they know. I was raised as a southern baptist.
I am of the mind set that any religion a person holds should encourage love, not cause them to ostracize the ones they love.
I saw this on reddit and reblogged it on tumblr. Know that a lot of people are seeing this and feeling for you!
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Have shared this, never thought there would be an article about me cheers guys
My Mother did the same to me..
Fret not.. 7 BILLION people in the world.. you’ve found out there’s 1 idiot. Invest in the other fewl billion.. life is short.. love is fleeting.. be happy you’ve got someone who loves you 🙂
I cannot imagine a God that does not love unconditionally. Instead I envision a God who laughs at such ridiculous conditions and interpretations of Him/Her. Even if your view of God is that it is a mere concept developed by man to create some sort of comfort I am sure you cannot envision THAT concept as being so short-sided, egotistic and small minded as some of the perspectives of God other religions have conceived!
I have very little experience of JW but I did walk with a few at the end when I worked in hospice. I will tell you at the end of their lives they had more fear than any other person of any other faith base (that included atheist)
A friend of mine said that if the God described in the king james is real, he’d rather not know him and take his chances with the devil!
I would concur with that!!!!
So writes a woman in the grip of cult mind control. Interesting how she reiterates that she is not influenced by anyone when it is quite evident that she is. It is not normal for a mother to abandon their child. I was surprised when you said that she wasn’t baptized considering her level of brainwashing. Very sad. Sincere sympathies
Did I say she wasn’t baptised?? She is, (hope i havent misled anyone) the mind control probably adds up now, thank you for reading.
Oh sorry about that. I misread something in the comments. It all makes sense now. Well not what she did …but the mind control. Hopefully the spell will be broken one day when she sees what they really are all about.
Wow. That is some strong delusion that could convince a mother to do that. Very sad for you.
I’m really sorry you received this letter. As a Mom it infuriates me, as a human being it depresses the shit out me. I hope your Mom figures it out sooner rather than later. I wish you all the peace and happiness that life has to offer.
We can only hope that one day it clicks somewhere?
I just found your blog today when someone posted “The Letter” to Facebook. How terribly heart-rending. It made me very sad and very angry. We see so many examples of how religion divides. Religion doesn’t make homes, it breaks them. Without the religion, there would never be any reason for you guys to be divided. The real world is ignored, and this fallacy is followed as truth, and now the relationship is broken.
I truly hope she comes around. I hope someday she looks at that letter and can’t believe she could write those words 😦
I’m looking forward to a better look at the whole journey. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you for reading it… It’s all good now, just got to move on… cheers
You received a letter that I’ve always feared receiving. Same faith, similar circumstances (add atheist + gay and you can imagine how pissed/angry/annoyed/depressed my mother is that I’m not giving Sunday talks or something) and so I just have to say that I’m glad you are taking this with full understanding of her indoctrinaton and not letting it destroy you because if you were not prepared for this it could have. The JW religion is so twisted; no kid should get a letter like this from their mother and yet, you know to write such a thing was painful so you can’t even be *that* mad at her. I hope one day she wakes up or spiritually weakens to the point where she act like a regular human being and not take such things so seriously. My own mother and I avoid talks of religion and politics, and since I discovered who I was before I ever took the Dip, she doesn’t go full blown Rage JW. She threatens to cut ties but because I’m not official she doesn’t have to…so pretty much I only have my mother in my life due to a technicality of this religion… so stupid.
I’m glad that you didnt take the dip, its crazy that it can make such a mad difference, your kind of the royal flush of what the witnesses say is wrong, good luck I hope you never get the letter. cheers dude
My understanding is that Christ was friends with the sinners and the lost, not the pious and religious. Didn’t he come to save the sinners? I have a sneaky suspicion that the letter is not something Jesus would have written. Hell (pardon the pun), he refused to stone an adulterer at some well thingamabob…that whole cast the fist stone bruhaha. With all due respect to your mum, but methinks she got the plot all wrong.
Wow. Can I be your mother? It would make me proud.
I have lots of surrogate mothers now, the more the merrier
Wow, just wow. I’ve read your blog with great interest Dave. I have (had?) a friend who became a jw when we teenagers and our friendship deteriorated rapidly. I can’t explain how much upset and confusion losing my best friend caused…..never mind your own mother. I’ve always been interested in the faith but never understood it so thank you for your informative insight. So glad you have the love of your wife and her family. Stay strong.
Thank you, I am glad i can helpwith some insight into th efaith, but please feel free to look for youself, they have a website. watchtower.org, do look at it and then weigh up what they say against the website such as athiestunderworld.com and jehovaswitnessblog.com to get the otherside,then you can get a full understanding as to why i went the way I did but also why your friend went the way they did. many thanks
As a mother myself, I cannot see her reasoning of a religion being a qualified reason for leaving her child. Any loving mother would walk through fire before causing any kind of pain to her child. And to know that you are the cause of your child’s pain, pain that you are telling him to live with for life, is unbearable. I commend for living your life despite this immense dissapointment.
Many religions punish apostacy. The traditional view in Islam is that male apostates should be killed! Be glad you are not running away from a Muslim background. Also, you should read the 1993 book ‘One Nation Under God’ by: Barry A. Kosmin, Seymour P. Lachman. It will open your eyes to how very different Jehovahs Witnesses really are. It deals with social standing and “class,” but explains why the adherents of this cult tend to isolate themselves. They feel different because they are different. I don’t think any religion is necessary, or even very healthy, but if you need a sense of community, consider one that is very liberal and accepting, Good luck!
Most JWs are Apostates! Very few are “born in”, and most leave other religions to join the Dubs. That all “Apostate” means BTW, although the JWs tend to import far greater venom into the word.
Be brave, David. You are strong and can stand on your own two feet. I was the opposite with a Dutch Reform mother who was very like the mother in King’s Carrie and who literally did run around the house spouting thou shalt not suffer a witch to live when angry at us. It was me who felt no choice but to leave that fear behind and disowned her when my youngest sister was out of the house. I’m now a 54yo grandmother who has broke the cycle of abuse and enjoys a strong relationship with daughter and grandson. Stay strong.
Hi David. I belong to a non-denominational fellowship that is also known as “The Truth” (other names- 2x2s, Two by Twos, Church with No Name, etc. They believe that they are the only right way in the earth, and all other religions/denominations are false and doomed to hell. Because I don’t believe that they are only right way, I also was disfellowshipped/shunned by my family because of the twisted beliefs that they have that they are being “loving” and obedient to Christ by doing so. I post on a board against some of their harmful beliefs at http://professing.proboards.com. Do you mind if I post your letter? I will link back to your blog. Hang in there- it has been tough for me at times.
Yeah of course mate. I’ll be glad to help out
It was with deep sorrow that I read your mother’s words. It’s beyond my comprehension that a mother could write something like that. She is clearly under some very strong delusions. She is in the type of bondage that only love, mercy, forgiveness, grace, and truth can bring someone out of.
A mild warning against Simon. He is the type who tends to exaggerate the evils found in the group that he is a member of. As a member of the same group, I personally have never heard of any situation in which a family rejected or shunned family members who had left the group (outside of stories posted on the internet). In the families that I know of, the reality is the exact opposite.
I don’t mean to bring the TMB (as we call our board) debate to your blog, but I felt that such a statement from Simon should be put in perspective. Anyone wanting to hear other perspectives is welcome to join us at http://professing.proboards.com. The debates can get pretty lively.
I had a little look at the message board, very lively indeed… the clarification is welcome… Thank you for reading my blog
There are so many people who call themselves “Christians” or who profess to believe in a loving God and then turn others away if the others don’t agree with their beliefs. I don’t believe that Christ meant for people to live and act like that. Though I am a Christian, I have several friends who do not believe. But they have added joy to my life in immeasurable ways. I particularly have strong negative feelings for those who profess to “love” someone, but who do not accept them. I wish you all the best and hope that your experiences will benefit others who may be acting the same way as your mom.
I am so sorry that you have to endure this pain. I am am ex-JW and my brothers and I have had a back and forth relationship with our mother. One day she calls and says she must cut off contact, a month later she apologizes, three months later…
It is sad what this religion forces family to do each other. Hang in there and remember that she probably loves you with all her heart, she is just too brainwashed to act on it.
Wow, a lot of tragic stories to compliment your own Dave! It’s a very strange world that we live in and as a parent I found this a gut-wrenching read. Thank you for sharing something that is so intimate and personal; it’s a window into a world that most of us fortunately never have to look through.
Although you’ve already heard it in several different guises, kudos to you for maintaining what appears to be a very balanced and rational response to what one can only describe as a bloody awful situation. It’s very easy to give into the anger and the hate but that just ends badly for all concerned. Continue to cherish the things that you have; they are precious. And as hard as it may be, try to love your mother as unconditionally as you can. The foibles of man (and woman) are many, but at least if you continue to love your mum, you won’t have any regrets later in life.
Here’s to the start of the rest of your life!
You are another casualty of the Circuit Overseer’s visit! This year the “push” was to do just what happened to you; the logic being that “tough love” will force all the little ex-Dubbies back into the cult.
The really unfair part is that while you can prove using the bible that all of this is just hate and BS to control the subjects, your Mom has been ordered to not “eat the vomit” of Apostates like you.
Avoid these Farkers like the plague!
You probably have hit the nail on the head, although she had just returned from a circuit assembly, the C/O gives a few talks at that!! It is a catch 22 in that way, like I said in my blog they have it all sewn up…. thank you for your input, it’s really appreciated
David, I was raised as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses as well. I had many issues and questions about the bible and religion as a whole growing up. But I knew what it meant to be baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses and also what the consequences were if I did not live up to those guidelines. I have seen many people pressured into being baptized by their families and that is the worst thing that could happen. But if you made your own decision to become baptized and then later decided it wasn’t for you, I think you knew the consequences, and thats why you probably aren’t as shocked as everybody else who read your mama’s letter and commented. If you were forced into doing it man, I apologize. But I knew it wasn’t for me, and I didn’t play with it. Aside from all the things wrong with the religion, it’s no worse than the other BS out there. Stay up bro. And besides. you know where the truth is if you want it. . .
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i was born and raised 2×2,they do practice shunning, i never experienced it because i was never baptised. it’s strange how all the true churches use the same terminology, somebody should start a web site for all ex-true churchers,the experiences are the same…..
I am a former JW myself and have just started blogging to get my feelings out in the open. And I am finding it to be truly therapeutic. Actually that is how I came across your blog. I looked up the phrase “bad association spoils useful habits” for a post I was writing and your post on the subject popped up in my google search. With that being said I have been on your site now for over an hour reading many of your posts. I am sitting here with watery eyes right now as I just read the letter from your mom. I have very, very little to do with my mom because of the religious differences, but I just cannot imagine the hurt from being cut off completely. My heart goes out to you and all those dealing with the lose of friends and family due to rules and restrictions inflicted upon them by a man made religion. If you get a chance I would love for you to check out my blog. I know we will have differing opinions about God, but if you are like me, I am always interested in hearing another ex-jw’s story. My site is thetruthunveiled.net. I look forward to reading your future posts.
Thank you so much for your comment, it’s so nice to hear that you enjoyed it, from my stats i can see you must be in the U.S. its pretty early here and i’m off to work, i’ll definitely have a look at your site when i get in tonight. it really is amazing to think that my blog has and still is helping people to understand what goes on as a JW and when you leave. Once again many thanks for reading, Looking forward to reading your words… Dave
This just happened to me last week, only it was on the phone. I was dumbfounded. Still coming to terms with it.
It’s not easy to have to deal with stuff like this, for me , it has made me a better person. I hope that it will work the same way for you. It is a tough time, talk to people about it PM if you need to.
I had a friend whose mother stopped speaking to him for over 25 years and was on her deathbed and still didnt want the family to tell him because he was kicked out of jv at the age of 19.. He always discussed the green book poisoned her…you should kidnap your mother! But if you cant just know peace in your life…many mothers abandon their children and many do not even know their moms or have relationships with them. I think her letter is her soul talking…may you both find each other again.
Hey! Wow! I myself didn’t have family in that could affect me like that…Whoa! I did my own experiences just a month or so ago.
I am such a whore for my blog!
I have to say… My mom wrote me a similar letter about 8 months ago. I’m so sorry of anyone who has been through this
Just to let you know (if you don’t mind). I have translated the letter into Portuguese for an Ex-JW site, here:
The world must know the pain caused by this religion!!!
Please use it my friend. The more that get to see it the better
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