Many thanks

The past few days have been fantastic.  My blog has received well in excess of 160,000 hits.  Many of these hits are down to people reading the letter I received form my mother, it seems to have struck a chord with so many people both atheist and religious.  The comments that have been made have been a comfort and an encouragement to me, so for that I thank you all.

Of the 200 plus comments, many were from ex-jehovahs witnesses and to hear that my blog has been both an inspiration and of great help to many struggling with similar circumstances has been overwhelming to me.

Some of the comments made have put aspects of my blog into perspective for me.  We all know that it is true to say in life that, no matter how bad things can get there is always somebody worse off than you.  This has been made evident to me more than ever by the comment made by  Neo, he is atheist and gay, something the witnesses are totally opposed to, despite that being an uncontrollable human emotion, something one would assume a loving god would understand… his comment is as follows:  “You received a letter that I’ve always feared receiving. Same faith, similar circumstances (add atheist + gay and you can imagine how pissed/angry/annoyed/depressed my mother is that I’m not giving Sunday talks or something) and so I just have to say that I’m glad you are taking this with full understanding of her indoctrinaton and not letting it destroy you because if you were not prepared for this it could have. The JW religion is so twisted; no kid should get a letter like this from their mother and yet, you know to write such a thing was painful so you can’t even be *that* mad at her. I hope one day she wakes up or spiritually weakens to the point where she act like a regular human being and not take such things so seriously. My own mother and I avoid talks of religion and politics, and since I discovered who I was before I ever took the Dip, she doesn’t go full blown Rage JW. She threatens to cut ties but because I’m not official she doesn’t have to…so pretty much I only have my mother in my life due to a technicality of this religion… so stupid.”

Neo was never baptised into the faith so is not subject to the perhaps crazy rules of disfellowshipping, however, it is and will continue to put strain on his relationship with his mother.  It made me realise that at least I know where I stand with my mother.  I can draw a line under it all and move on, however in neo’s case that may happen or perhaps it may not, if the latter is true, he will continue to live in a state of limbo concerning his mothers feelings to him.  In my opinion this is far worse than my situation.

Another comment made was by Steve c  (  His comment has had a huge impact on how I now view my situation, it is as follows:  “Dave, it kills me to read this, because I know the hurt you feel.

I was a born-in JW and finally stopped attending meetings at age 36; my sister and mom have shunned me since 2006. My mother’s kidneys started failing a few months ago, and combined with her late stage emphysema, she doesn’t have long to live. Since I now live in another country, my only source of updates on my mom’s condition is through my sister, who only recently decided to reply to me. Of course, she only does so out of duty as Watchtower-mandated “necessary communication”; her messages are cold and businesslike without an ounce of love or family feeling.

I hope one day her eyes and heart will be opened. Until then, here’s a virtual hug of support.

Keep enjoying your freedom from that cult!”

This made me fully realise that there is most definitely people who are worse off than myself, yes what happened to me was not nice, ideal etc.  However, in Steve’s instance he has been thrust into a world many of us will never understand, I really do feel for him, it makes my situation seem minuscule in comparison.

So in conclusion, all the comments of support I have received over the past few days have been amazing, but let us not forget to spare a thought for those who have been cut off from their family unit and have a real struggle on their hands daily, for me it is all over and I draw a line under it, but for them its is ongoing and painful…  Once again many thanks


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6 Responses to Many thanks

  1. Fantine says:

    hi nice post, i have to comment to say your website is awesome, i’m glad i found your blog.

  2. Danielle says:

    I first read the letter, and thought “dear God!” – and then read from the beginning and that is still the phrase going through my rather stunned head.
    I’ve had some bad times in my life, but I can’t even begin to comprehend what feelings you must have experienced, and what those in similar situations are still experiencing. I had no idea of the rules and regulations JW place on their members. We don’t get many round where we live, maybe 2 or 3 times a year I’ll find issues of the Watchtower posted through the letterbox (or indeed, on the odd occassion, the deliverer has opened the door and left them in the hall, which annoys me rather) – but I’ve yet to have had the “pleasure” of opening the door to them. I’m glad to have read this first. (although, as a firm but liberally-minded RC, I’ve always planned on having a little ‘fun’ anyway…!)
    Thank you for posting this, and for all the support and help it will give others in similar situations. It is one of the most intelligent, succinct, and well articulated blogs of experience and religion that I have ever read.

  3. Pingback: She Honestly Felt She Had No Choice. | Crimes Against Divinity

  4. It's only P! says:

    Of course there are always people worse off than you or me, but we each have to deal with our own plight, our own pain. This isn’t really alleviated by knowing that others are worse off, I think? It’s great to know that people understand what we go through, but we each have to work through our ordeal. To be rejected by a parent for reasons as you describe must be one of the toughest things to learn to live with. It will probably always feel unnatural even though there are days that you think it’s all under control. So in that sense then you are worse off than I am, because I was rejected by my (23-year old) son. I think it would have shocked me more if I had been rejected by my mother. Still, my heart hurts just as much. Thank you for sharing.

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