So for such a long time I kept up the pretence that I was the same as my brothers and sisters, that I had a strong faith and was close to God. So when I left the religion I think it came as a huge shock to many. What is important to understand is that for most of my life I have always chosen the easy way and just gone along with things because it would be harder to go against it. For example, when you have been brought up with an extensive education of the bible, you can hold your own in a theological debate and when you study as much as the witnesses do, you are usually able to have quite a good chat with the likes of vicars and members of the clergy, you could have a proper laugh when talking to Mormons . This gives you the look of someone who is a genuine believer with a strong faith, so for me a façade was never a problem. If I or anyone else for that matter was given long enough, I’m sure I could learn all there is about any other religion and give a convincing account of myself in their company, probably to the extent that no one would doubt my faith for a moment. Part of this with me and the witnesses was learned behaviour, you would see how the ones with genuine faith would talk and act, then it was not too difficult to mimic that, so appearing to be something you are not was easy, hence the shock when I left.
My main issue came to light in a “hit you in the face” moment during the meeting held on Sundays.
This also was for about two hours and consisted of two parts; the first was a public talk, open to members of the general public addressing a relevant subject and providing God’s answer to that, the second was a question and answer affair based on the latest copy of the Watchtower magazine. It was during the Watchtower study that it all fell into place for me, it was on the subject of why there is so much wickedness in the world today, now this is quite complicated and addresses the fundamentals of the religions faith, so as you can imagine if I have found flaws in the fundamentals then the only way is downhill from here on in.